Letter to a Future West Point Parent

Dear Future West Point Parents,

First and foremost, let us extend our heartfelt congratulations to you both on your son or daughter’s acceptance to West Point. As the West Point Parents Club of North Carolina, who have started this journey before or with you, we wanted to take a moment to share some insights and offer words of encouragement as you prepare for this new and mystifying yet rewarding chapter in your lives.

We understand that sending your child off to West Point can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. The thought of him/her embarking on such a rigorous and demanding journey may bring about feelings of apprehension and concern. However, we want to assure you that your child is in capable hands and is well-prepared for the challenges that lie ahead. As your fellow parents, we had similar anxieties when our child left for West Point, but soon learned that there was all kinds of support, and that everything will be alright. 

At West Point, your Cadet will not only receive a top-notch education but also undergo a transformative experience that will shape him into a leader of character and integrity. The values instilled at West Point—duty, honor, and country—will serve as the foundation upon which he will build his future career and life.The change in your child will be subtle. In fact, during Cadet Basic Training, aka “Beast,” when you get that first phone call after three weeks, you are likely to get a wide range of emotions from your Cadet. Fear, excitement, fatigue, frustration, and sometimes exuberance. But while Beast can be stressful on new West Point parents, especially without daily communication to let you know they are safe, it is only the beginning. Eventually the academic year arrives in August and the pace changes. Over four years, you’ll see your Cadet truly transform, from a clueless high school graduate on R-Day, to a mature, strong, intelligent future leader of our Army’s soldiers. 

As parents, it is only natural to worry about your Cadet’s well-being, especially in such a demanding environment. They did not get into West Point without your constant guidance, support, and love. But rest assured that the faculty, staff, and fellow Cadets at West Point form a tight-knit community that looks out for one another. Your Cadet will be surrounded by mentors and peers, including fellow Cadets, coaches, and Regular Army Officers and NCOs who will support them every step of the way. 

While there may be moments of doubt and uncertainty, remind yourselves that your Cadet is embarking on a journey of immense growth and self-discovery. Encourage them to embrace the challenges they will face. In times of struggle, and there will be many, just tell them to “make it to tomorrow.” Encourage them to take one day at a time. West Point is a marathon, not a sprint. Every cloudy day, and there will be many, is inevitably followed by sunshine. That “NCOR” (a negative spot report…you’ll learn about these) that sends your Cadet into a tailspin is followed by an “A” on a paper, or passing a SAMI (Saturday morning inspection..you’ll also learn about these). At West Point, Cadets are expected to fail, and pushed to the breaking point to cause failure but with the expectation that personal growth will follow. And with determination and perseverance, they are capable of enduring and ultimately growing as people and leaders. And an entire West Point community is there to help them transition from failure to growth and ready to cheer them forward.

It is also important to take care of yourselves during this time of transition. Your Cadet’s journey at West Point will undoubtedly have an impact on your lives as well. It is not uncommon for parents to shed a lot of tears on R-Day, and for the next six weeks as you worry about your New Cadet. Lean on your fellow WPPCNC parents for support. They are enduring the same challenges and often have the same emotional responses you do, and you will find comfort in the camaraderie. Most importantly, stay connected with your Cadet through letters (during Beast), emails and texts, and visits when possible. Celebrate their events such as A-Day, Plebe Parent Weekend, Army Navy games, their academic achievements, no matter how small they may seem, they are opportunities to stay connected and support your Cadet. 

In closing, we want to assure you that your Cadet is prepared for the road ahead. Their time at West Point will be challenging, but it will also be incredibly rewarding. Like their high school journey, it will go faster than you think. Trust in their abilities, believe in their resilience, and know that they are embarking on a journey that will shape them into a leader of extraordinary caliber capable of standing in front of America’s sons and daughters and leading them. They will make you, and all of us very proud. 

With warmest regards,

The West Point Parents Club of North Carolina